Monday, March 26, 2007

Bubbles the Magnificent

Not to shatter anyone's ego, but law is based on tricks. Not just any tricks, but cheap magic tricks. Ever been to a magic show with a really terrible children's magician with a name like Bubbles? Well, the majority of lawyers in the United States use these same campy tricks. People outside the law are usually shocked and horrified when faced with legal troubles. Due to the mafia-esque style of Bar Associations, regular people are basically prohibited solving these problems on their own. Who do they call? Bubbles the magician, err...I mean John Q. Lawyer, esq. Johnny Lawyer steps in and with a wave of the hand and a slip of the wrist, magic is done and the problem solved, or at least brought to a resolution. And where does this leave our regular people? Out 5 grand for some basic problem. Someone recently asked me how can you tell if your friends with a lawyer. My answer? If you have his cell number, your most likely friends. If you just have his office number, your just another mark.

As a student of this illustrious field I've experienced another aspect of the cheap magicians of this area of employment. I have worked for several cheap magicians, some good, some not so good, but one of the common threads among these people is their fear of sharing their secrets. Just like any magician on any end of the spectrum, most lawyers have an intense fear of losing their jobs or losing their clients, therefore you have to squeeze them for their card tricks. As a student, we are all seen as future competition, therefore, learning the law is incredibly difficult when trying to sit at the feet of different Houdinis.

The endgame is eventually you figure out how your master magician does his tricks and he slips from being Houdini to being Bubbles. The cycle starts anew and you as the student become Bubbles trying to fool the public into believing the coin really did dissappear into your hand.


Anonymous said...

Keep slackin' and you're gonna lose your readership.

The Expatriate said...

you gotta blog to be able to criticize.