Friday, March 27, 2009

So Long Jerks!

Ok, I'm joking, but I couldn't resist. Anyone that knows Bender, knows thats funny. Yes, dear reader, your faithful Expatriate is leaving the Great State for the Republic of Texas. I am seeking my fortune and hammering out a little manifest destiny. My plan is to start an entirely new blog, as this one will seem a little irrelevant whence I am points West.

I will miss this State, however I must forge ahead. More than anything, though, I'll miss the people here. In the words of one of my idols, though, "I shall return."

Forward Rebels, March to Fame.

Adios, Muchachos!

-Your Ole Miss Expatriate

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Alright. Blogging again. For how long? Who the fuck knows? Anywho, begun listening intently to Guns and Roses new album, Chinese Democracy. Well to cut to the quick, not impressed. I've listened to about half the songs (the ones on Myspace) and I have to say, nothing strikes me. Guns and Roses, pre-Buckethead, circa mid eighties to early nineties, was about two things: fury and depth. That is essentially what makes up great rock and roll bands. Somewhere between the departure of everyone but Axl and the release of this album, Guns and Roses has replaced fury with industrial and depth with hack. It just really seems to me that this album lacks every single thing that their earlier albums contained. There are no great rising moments like in Civil War. There are no furious songs like You Could Be Mine. There is nothing epic like November Rain. So what happened? Well, honestly, I believe that Axl isolated himself so much from the outside world, that he honestly did not realize what was actually going on in music and why he began writing, composing and singing. When he emerged, determined to force the world to pay attention to him again, he supplemented his past inspirations with money, unlimited studio time and a rolodex to rival the president of any major label. All those things combine for is a hack record that will be hailed for a few minutes and then lambasted for an age. One last thing, dear reader, be prepared to hear everyone of these songs on every commercial, television show, movie and creative internet viral videos. The powers that be have been fronting a shit-ton of money to Axl for a long time to get this damn thing out there, and trust me, they won't recoup a dime without some serious whoring of this album.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

For The 2008 Presidential Election Cycle: I Am Not Voting So Fuck Off

I would like to take a moment and reason out very clearly with everyone out there why exactly I am not voting in the upcoming election. For many different reasons I have found myself whole-heartily disillusioned with the election process and politics in general. Now, I enjoy gossipy stories and juicy details just as much as the next poltico, however I have studied politics and been in both political science and law school way too long to every appreciate how the sausage is made. I guess I could claim that is reason number 1. I am disillusioned with American politics in general. Public service went the way of the dodo a long time ago. Today people are career politicians, not basing their lives on serving others, but serving their own ends. I don’t enjoy that game. I find it distasteful. Onward. I imagine my next reason would go down to a selfish stance. I vote for my friends and relatives. These are the only people who could ever impact my life. Because I line up with someone who I have never met, who could care less about me and only flashes rhetoric in my face, does not impress me enough. And the issues they stand for? Pro-life, pro-choice, entitlements, national security, etc… None of these things impact my life. Taxes going up? Who gives a shit? I make crap. Why would I care if people who make over 75K a year get taxed more. That doesn’t affect me. I truly don’t have an opinion on abortion and I live in the Deep South. I am not worried about terrorism here. Now foreign policy I could get behind, but anything besides the current administration is a step up, so that doesn’t affect me either. I guess my last reason is that I don’t like being bullied into voting for someone. And no, I’m not going to write myself in or vote for a space alien or some other dumb shit. If I truly believed that real change would occur, then I would vote for someone, but the point of the American system is about having a choice. A choice, goddammit. Not being obligated into lining up. That is what has happened to this country. No one sees it. Our country is polarized. Everyone is so goddamn angry. The left hates the right. Blacks hate whites. Women are hating other women. Intellectualism is being supplanted by terrible rhetoric. “A chicken in every pot” is being promised and will never be delivered.

And to everyone that keeps telling me this old chestnut, “If you don’t vote, then you can’t complain.” I just complained. And I’m not voting. So fuck off.

Friday, October 3, 2008

You Try To Find This Fucking Song

Yea, this is one of the dopest songs out there. No pun intended. Ok, pun intended. From my lengthy days of playing Grand Theft while fretting over frivolous tests. Steve Marriot, kicking ass.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I'm Charlie Brown

Well a couple of weeks ago I got my results back on my bar exam. Ugh. I feel like Lucy keeps pulling that ball out from under me. I think it might be time to pack it up and head for greener pastures.

(Also, I try to use non-copywrited material for my pictures on here, but I really do feel like Charlie Brown and I only use this imagine in tribute to Charles Shultz. Fair Use, baby.)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Onward and Upward

Well, a friend of mine (and myself) recently had a long discussion regarding writing, how to write, why we don't write, good writers, why we aren't good writers and the overall "craft" as we in the biz call it. Yes, that's right, "the biz." Ok, I'm not a writer, but sometimes I like to play dress up and pretend I am. I put on my cape and soar around my apartment, dreaming of a day when I can throw off these chains of regular work, sit in a upscale apartment, and pontificate on the ills of the world. Wait. I already do that, and with gusto! Hmmm. Ok, I don't get paid for. That's right, people, I'm a fucking volunteer. Dammit. Anywho, me and my friend have committed ourselves to writing more. You may know my friend from his blog, "Making the Mundane Magical" of which, I should have a link to on this site. He is a very good writer and his new site, is coming along very nicely. I suggest everyone take in a few of his stories and drop him a couple of comments. They are well thought out and very engrossing. As for myself, dear reader, and by the way, I am basically ripping off the "dear reader" from Stephen King (he uses "Constant Reader," see I'm original), I too have pushed myself into the fantastic and exciting world of online publishing! Hmmmm. Already doing that with this blog. Ok, well this will be mainly just fiction and not my obsessive and ridiculous ranting. If you have time, or your bored, or you just want to laugh and mock my sincere efforts, mosey on over to my little fiction site, and enjoy. Or don't. Shit. I don't give a fuck. Onward and upward, dear friends. Onward and upward.


Hmmm. Been trying to think up a good post for a while. Instead of just sitting on my ass, I decided to post some of my favorite snarky, irreverent, funny, and interesting sites that I check constantly. Considering I eliminated my cable several months ago, I decided to devote my time to the internet. So here you go, cats and kittens, for your viewing and reading pleasure:


This is a Washington political site. Very snarky and very irreverent. Obvious liberal bias, but the headlines and funny and they can keep you up-to-date on who is screwing who in Washington.


Online magazine that is loved by NPR and considering I love NPR, it was only natural that I started reading this. Good articles, pretty in depth, and you can always find something interesting and well thought out.


No cable? No problem. No money? No problem. A natural fit for me. Hulu is like a professional youtube, with tons of archived television series and movies. All for free. You have to tolerate a few ads, but, screw it. Its worth it. Not as many movies as you might hope for, but come on. I live in poverty. I takes whats I cans gets.


Extremely funny site. A bit high-brow, but their archives are worth it. You can read it for hours. My suggestion is to search for the Cookie Monster story. You’ll laugh your ass off. McSweeney’s has been around for a while and has a very good presence in print media.

Adult Swim

Tuner’s golden child of comedy. Who could have ever conceived that a viewer driven, extremely insane cartoon channel could produce such great material? I thought all Turner/Time Warner had was TBS and the Braves? Well boy was I wrong. Cartoon Network, with its humble beginnings as Turner’s way of satisfying its required “child programming hours” has hoisted Adult Swim (its night-time incarnation) into an industry standard of comedy. Adult Swim (and viewers like me) resurrected Family Guy and Futurama and have given a shot to dozens of fantastic comedians (Tim and Eric) and elevated crazy animation to the next level. Kudos. I suggest everyone bookmark this one.


Lots of snark, basically a gossip site. Its good and you can really stay in touch with what is passé, what is now, and what is just ridiculous. Hey, don’t act like you don’t have one of these sites bookmarked! At least I’m not promoting Perez Hilton. Although he is funny too.