Star Search

So, two days ago, I’m taking the “Great Test.” It sucks. I despise it. So, I’m at lunch. Chow down on some Subway and I’m headed back into the Marriot for another dose of pain. Coming out of the Marriot, in Jackson, Mississippi, who do I run into? Billy Bob Thorton. I am bad star-struck. I look up at him in his trucker hat and dark sunglasses and manage, “Hey, man!” He replies, “Hey, brother.” “Sling-Blade” Armageddon” “Mr. Angelina Jolie Himself.” He spoke to me on the streets of Jackson, Mississippi.

Hey, brother to you too.

Bet

Well the kid finished the Bar. Now the anxiety sets in. This past week was a Monday through Wednesday hell-a-thon, fortunately Wednesday night I shut down a few of my favorite Jacktown watering-holes. I have to say, despite my anxious thoughts regarding the Bar exam, I feel ok. Its like Rocky just wanting to go the distance. Being done with that son of a bitch is almost enough. Last summer I was not ready and knew I couldn’t do it. This time, I put the study in, I accepted my fate and dove head first. Hopefully, its enough, but life is a fucking crap-shoot, and I’ve never been a good shooter. So, cats and kitten, gimme 8 the Hard Way and a twenty dollar ace-deuce; I’m done and ready for the next adventure.

Three Dimensions

If you read this blog you know that I watch the news alot. I mean ALOT. MSNBC, Fox News, CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS, BBC, and all the local news channels. Not to mention I check Reuters and the AP, hourly on the internet. Well the other day I was watching the news and I saw an interesting story that got me thinking. Recently, a porn store in south Jackson was busted for selling sex toys. This isn't the first time this has happened in Jackson or Mississippi. What struck me as being funny is that the lead investigator stated that the investigation had being going on for a while and "local citizens had been complaining about the sex toys." What? Were the vibrators coming un-holstered and attacking random people? Did someone get robbed by a criminal using a large plastic penis? Doubtful. With all the money in salaries, gas, time, surveillance, and over-time, I wonder how much this "raid" cost the taxpayers of Jackson? Lets not forget THERE HASN'T BEEN A SINGLE GODDAMN ARREST FOR THE SALE OF DOPE IN JACKSON IN LIKE 8 MONTHS! Are all the tax dollars for law enforcement in Jackson going to "porn investigations?" Most likely. The cops must be really bored. I think someone needs to sit down with the law enforcement of Jackson and have a serious discussion about whats an important crime and whats a silly crime. Dope? Pretty important. A dildo? Not so important. 12 year old kid getting shot in his house? Pretty important. A clerk selling a lady a vibrator? Not so important. The way I see it, if someone wants to buy a "three dimensional object for sexual gratification", thats their business. If someone wants to sling dope, thats everyone's business. Jackson needs to wake the fuck up and prioritize the crimes. We are on our way to having a record year in crime.

Now, all this talk about sex toys and illegality got me thinking. I do alot of thinking. Anyone ever heard of Passion Parties? Throughout my travels and various places I have lived in this great state, I have known several women who have either 1)hosted Passion Parties or 2)attended Passion Parties. Are they doing something illegal? Yup. According to Mississippi law and thus why not subject them to the same punishment as these people in south Jackson? Why not? Most likely because the cops would have to get probable cause, then a warrant, then raid some house where 6 or 7 giggly women are sitting around talking about vibrators and relationships. LOL. Now that would make the best episode of "COPS," ever. Think about it. The cops approach the house and use one of those battering rams to knock down the door. "Get your fucking hands up!!!! Drop the vibrator!!! Get on the ground!!! Now!!!!!" LOL.

See, Passion Parties, along with the Casinos or as we call them in the Great State, "The Boats," are the big giant pink elephants in the room. Everyone knows about them, but you don't talk about them in polite conversation. Let me see if I can do a run down of all the women I know who have told me they have attended Passion Parties (no I'm not going to name names):

Teachers
Mothers
Wives
Jr. Leaguers
Reporters
Rich
Poor
Middle Class
Upper Class
Nymphos
Super Conservatives

The Sins of The Father

No hand can make the clock strike for me the hours that are passed.

-Lord Byron

As the James Ford Seale trial gears up with jury selection, a local media outlet, The Jackson Free Press has been reporting pretty hard core on this Civil Rights era murder case. I am grateful that charges have been brought in this case and I agree that murder should never have a statute of limitations, but I have a problem with the soap box tactics of the JFP in polarizing this issue into "your either with us, or against us." Through this case, the JFP and specifically, Donna Ladd, have found another reason to indict everyone in this state, young and old, as long as they are white, as being culpable in the murders of black victims of racially based Civil Rights era killings. The JFP and Donna Ladd have found it appropriate to advocate for the white citizens of this state to apologize for lynchings, murders, and racially based hate from the past. If people wish to apologize for these types of actions, perhaps people who were there or committed the acts, I say go for it. If someone feels that much guilt that they need to confess, apologize or repair damage they feel responsible for, take the first step and do it. However, and this is a big however, I feel no responsibility for what happened to black victims of racially charged murders or violence during an era, time, period, and place that I did not exist. Make no mistake, I feel very sorry for the families who lost people to senseless violence, I feel sorry for the millions of black people who had to ride at the back of the bus or who could not even eat at a diner with white people. I feel sorry for the fact that a great leader like Dr. Martin Luther King was gunned down by a coward, as was Medgar Evers. Mississippi and the United States lost great minds when these two leaders were murdered. However, I was not responsibly for what happened in any of these cases. I owe no one, any kind of responsibility except for what I do in my life. My family was in this state before statehood and fought on the side of the Confederacy and I do no apologize for this, because I had no hand in those decisions. Very possibly, many of my ancestors in this state, were racists, ignorant, and advocated for Jim Crow laws. I do not apologize for this, because this was not my doing. Many people who might read this, might say, "well, he is just a goddamn racist." No I am not. I don't apologize for the past, because its not my life and if I make a disingenuous apology for those things, I might as well apologize for the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, apologize for Cortez's massacre of the Aztecs and apologize for any other travesty committed against another people. I work very hard in my life to make friends from all walks of life. I count myself very lucky to have black friends, white friends and a best friend from the former Yugoslavia. I apologize for my life and my transgressions, but I will never take blame for what others have wrought. The JFP and Donna Ladd have decided to indict everyone who happens to be white in this state for the crimes of the past. Get the killers, get the conspirators, but I will never allow myself to be lumped into their category. Euripides once said, "the gods visit the sins of the father upon the son." Well, this country was founded on the antithesis of the this Greek maxim. The founders of this country understood that passing the crimes and debts of the father to the son was against justice and righteousness. I agree. I am responsible for myself and no other and I take great pride in that and will not ever apologize for crimes or attitudes that are not my own. So to the JFP and Donna Ladd I am proud of your reporting and helping bring about justice in an old Civil Rights era crime, but never, ever, ever think that you can push me into the category of being a complacent white person who is guilty by association. I push back.

Canned Post

I am very addicted to TCM, that is Turner Classic Movies. Recently, the bastards that own my cable devil box decided that it was time to update the channels. TCM was added, along with some other bullshit channel called Fox Reality Channel. Jesus. I have an intense love for old movies, and according to my friends, old music. I don't really consider these things that old, just undiscovered. I'm happy to find them and hopefully enhance my mind.

Everyone today seems obsessed with new things, or the next big thing. Hell, I guess thats the way its always been. Me and the Panda, of whom lies about reading this blog, were discussing tonight how our generation lacks many of the self sustaining skills that our forebears had. Such as canning fruit. LOL. Yes, canning fruit, we have concluded is a necessary skill that our generation lacks. I posed the idea to the Panda that maybe life is so complicated today that we need this extreme division of labor and skills. Maybe, or maybe I should learn how to can fruit.

Speaking of reading this blog, I'm not sure many people do. I have been keeping my counters going, but I'm beginning to suspect that there are only about 3 real live people who actually keep up with this record of my thoughts. One of them is me. I wonder what makes a good blog? I could start blogging about sex, drugs and violence, but that just seems so passe. Alot of the popular blogs I have noticed are technology based, such as blogs about Macs or Ipods or whatever the fuck people buy today. I'm pretty far behind the times.

Watched the Liddell/Jackson fight the other day. The undercards were good, but the main event seemed like a waste of time. Yea, yea, I know. Its really hard and UFC is no joke, and no, I'm not going to get in the ring, but come on. Liddell got knocked out in like a minute. Please.

Drank a bit this weekend, however last night I refrained from excess. I just wasn't in the mood. All my friends at the bar were hitting the shots pretty hard and I'm not a shot guy, so I left a little early.

Ramble, ramble ramble. Blah, blah, blah.

Quickie-Update

Well school is done. I have finished and if grades prevail, I should be sitting fat, down south. The graduation ceremony was fine, despite being a bit warm under my ritual robes of a Doctor of Law. Mother's day is tomorrow, so remember to pick up a little something for your ma. I don't have much for this post, because I'm a little busy, but I felt that I needed to post something to let you, fair reader, know that I am still alive and exams couldn't kill me. Hopefully, this evening, I'm going to work up a good post. I have a few ideas about a topic I have been meaning to discuss. Stay tuned and check back soon. Until then, Mahalo.

Be Quiet, Be Calm

Be quiet. Better yet, shut the fuck up. Lately, it seems like everything and everyone is shouting. Whether its Best Buy's color scheme and blasting advertisements from the television section or that idiot that was sitting next to me at the redlight while pumping some Drrty South hardcore rap. How about the dickface using the leaf blower outside my window at 7 in the morning. Goddammit!! My professor at school using shouting as emphasis and the girl at the bar who can't help but laugh every few minutes because she had too much cocaine and too many cranberry and vodkas.

Lately, silence and quiet time has become a rare commodity in my life. The street value of quiet time is skyrocketing in my world, passed crack and heroin. If I could buy quiet time from a dealer named Lobo, I would. In fact, I'd buy it by the kilo.

I'm going to be taking a short hiatus from blogging for a few days to settle some business that I have been putting off.

Be well, dear reader, I shall return.

Weekend Recap

Well, the parade this past weekend was pretty cool. Lots of people, lots of drunk ass 40 something year old women. Afterwards, I went home and did not really feel like going out that night. A day of drinking can really take it out of you. Oh yea, the winner of the aforementioned match between Happy O'Lucky and Shanks McFadden is Shanks. In a second round knock out, Shanks stabbed and ruthlessly beat Happy into the third row. Shanks then proceeded to stomp 4 people in the crowd, including an elderly gentlemen. Shanks' arraignment was scheduled for this morning and at press time, this news outlet had no information of his plea.


I stayed up very late last night talking to a friend. We have been trying to scheme a way into a cool line of work. No results yet. The old line of "anything you can think of, has already been done," is very true. So we are stuck, so far.

I have been trying to write more, fiction mostly. Slow but sure. For a very long time, I have had some good ideas for stories, and just now am I feeling confident enough to write something. I'm not sure how it will turn out. Stay tuned, maybe I'll post something.
Sitting here listening to my professor once again reaffirms my desire NOT to have children. LOL. I'm very bored and my class is very, very boring.

O'Lucky/McFadden: St. Paddy's Day Massacre

So the decadence of St. Paddy's is looming on all of Jackson. In a few days, downtown will be turned into one of the largest spectacles of in all of the Southeast. For those who don't know, Jackson has the fourth or fifth largest St. Paddy's day parade in the country. Here, unlike other places, St. Paddy's is a little different due to the Sweet Potato Queens. Many moons ago, one of my favorite bars, Hal and Mals, decided to celebrate St. Paddy's day by hosting a parade. Flash forward a bit, and this lady, Jill Connor Browne, created a sensation of a book entitled "The Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love" and subsequent books after. Now I haven't read the books, but they are a celebration of campy female pride in dressing badly and about how fun trashiness can be. Ok, I really don't know what they are about, but I'm sure it has something to do with bad clothes and southern women. Anyway, these books were a hit, and now people come from all over to hang out with the Sweet Potato Queens, march in the parade in costumes and really get tanked before 3 pm. I'm planning to go the parade for the first time and I'm hoping to see the sheer spectacle it all is.

In the past few years, a good friend and I have had a debate regarding St. Paddy's day. The traditional mascot is the Irish Leprechaun. Now, everyone loves leprechauns, but our debate has been, which leprechaun? There are two camps to this argument. On one side, you have the Disney friendly, Happy O'Lucky. Happy is the congenial, Irish wisdom leprechaun that is touted to young children. He is the leprechaun off the cereal commercials, in children's films and appears on lunchboxes. As my friend says, "Happy is the Gallic, jovial, lucky charms rendition." Now, on the other hand, there is another version. This is the more adult version. My friend calls him, "The surly, bar fighting, acerbic leprechaun." His name? Shanks McFadden. Shanks is the football mascot, the leprechaun from the movie "Leprechaun." You don't really know if Shanks has a pot of gold, but he does a broken beer bottle he is about to stab you with. This debate has raged for a while, with no satisfactory conclusion.

We invite everyone to weigh in.

Support Free Music

Saw the Arnold Lindsey Band last night. They are a pretty good blues band. I wished they would have played some more of their own stuff. They had one really great song called "My Name is The Blues." Very good lyrics, well put together. I've become a connoisseur of free music here in Jackson. My venue of choice lately has been Hal and Mals. They haven't had too many decent acts worth paying for, but their free music in the restaurant is plenty for me.

This comes to the point of this post. Regional music. The south has always traditionally had great music, but lately today, with corporate marketing and slick ad campaigns, regional music seems to have returned to its roots. I say this because with youth culture there is a backlash effect. The south, at least Mississippi, generally has stayed pretty removed from mass media and its push for the "it" bands. Because of the lack of large venues, Mississippi doesn't traditionally get big concerts or big names. Albeit, every now and then a big group passes through, but lately the biggest groups have been Jackyl and Motley Crue. Although, maybe Jackyl hasn't played yet. Its not as if I really pay attention. Willie Nelson isn't coming to Jackson, so what the fuck do I care who plays there? I don't. For me, I know with the spread of technology and the rise of popular music over the past so many decades, anyone can see a ton of great bands and great music without having to pay anything. Fenians has plenty of free music and so does Hal and Mals. So I go there and skip out on the 18+ show next door with its 10 dollar cover to hear a pretty weak emo band spit out some meaningless fluff.
Not to say that the only marketed and sold music in Jackson is emo, or goth, or some other garbage I don't care about. The 930 Blues Club price gouges on a daily basis and it is constantly packed. Good blues in Jackson is sold at a very high price, unless you know where to look. Sure, here in Jackson there a good many jukejoint blues clubs. However, I doubt I would head down Farrish Street to check them out. I don't like prostitutes and I don't like dope dealers. Yea, I said it. Farrish Street is packed with whore and crack; ergo, I'm not going to Birdland. A good idea for more blues in Jackson would be to get rid of Fire and Ice and put in a nice, well designed and cheaper blues club. A club to compete head to head with 930. It won't happen though, the 930 is the kingpin of blues here.

Back to my original point. Free music where its at. Vernon Brothers this week at Hal and Mals. Last hurrah before the debauchery that is St. Paddy's Day. Wednesday will be the last calm day at Hal and Mals. Free music will be over for about 5 or 6 days. Dammit.

Nightlife Places

Tonight, seeing as I'm pretty broke I decided I would stay in a do a little review of some of my favorite establishments in this fair city. We'll start at the top:

Fenians
Ever wondered where you could find an Irish pub in the middle of the south? Well this city wasn't called the Crossroads of the South for nothing. Fenians is a great place with a very unique atmosphere. Just about everyone you see when you walk through the door is a regular and they let you know it. The staff is very good and the manager Damon runs a tight ship. Outsiders and out of towners stick out like sore thumbs, but usually get a pretty good reception from the motley crew of patrons, bartenders and wait staff. The music is always free and karaoke night is a riot, (although I really can't stand karaoke.) Any attire is acceptable from the suits of the Capitol to me and my old jeans. The food is good and the kitchen stays open late. I suggest at least one trip to Fenians for anyone who lives or visits anywhere near Jacktown.

Hal and Mals
I always say that Hal and Mals has juxtaposition on tap. This place has the strangest eclectic mix of people you can find anywhere. During the day, this place is a restaurant with a pretty good menu. Actually, I'm not really sure about the entire menu, just the sandwiches. During the night, Hal and Mals has three main rooms and a couple of smaller rooms. The big back room usually has the big acts that come to Jackson and if your looking for where North Mississippi Allstars are playing, its the big back room. The smaller main room usually has the free music every other night, mostly jazz and bluegrass, but that's the place I haunt. In the redroom, blues is rolling pretty regularly. I recommend Hal and Mals for a good change of pace and a good mix of everything Jackson has to offer.

930 Blues Club
During the day you can't even tell this place is a blues club. Situated off Fortification street on some side street I can't remember, 930 looks like an old home, but during the night, this place is the most hoppin' juke joint for miles. Miss Sweetheart Jackie Bell belts out the blues and soul and get ready for her to serenade you. 930 is a little expensive with a cover charge every night, but well worth hitting it up every so many weeks. Its so popular that you need to be ready to get there at around 8 or 9 due to the crowd. Its a great place to take out of town friends who really want to experience some real blues. Expect to see pimps and cops together watching some hot blues.

Martins
I have to admit I was not a fan of Martins for a while. At first, I was very put off with Martins because of the slow service, how this bar is set up and the usual crowd there. Naturally, what changed my mind? Beer of course. Martins has the, and I mean THE, best selection of beer in this entire city. I can't even begin to estimate how many different types of beer they have, but its enough for me. Martins has really grown on me, mainly as a good late night place to go, when many other places are shutting down. Its kinda dingy and has never been the friendliest place, but it has the habit of collecting a strange brew of Jackson characters very late at night and complimenting this with a good lager selection. Give it a try if your out to see some late nightlife.

Schimmels
Now I cannot say that I have partied here or even hung out for an extended period, but Schimmels is a nice place. I ate there once and the steak was just right. According to my sources, Schimmels has gained a pretty good reputation for music and night life. Its a swanky joint, so don't run in there without dressing up a bit.

Jokers
How perfect. Follow Schimmels up with Jokers. Jokers is the quintessential trucker bar on the side of the highway. Its a little rough, but a pretty good bartender and lots of pool tables. Also lots of dartboards. The strangest thing about Jokers is the wide selection of K.D. Lang on the jukebox? I guess Jokers these days is a trucker/gangster/lesbian bar.

Sportsman's Lodge
Sports bar that can get way too crowded. This place has lots of tvs and two pool tables. The jukebox is pretty good, but usually broke. Usually too many guys, but it makes my main list because its a great place to watch Ole Miss play during football season.

Ok, those are my top places to hang out. Here are a few mediocre places:

Char: Not bad, a little too pretentious and expensive for me. Good place to see everyone in Mississippi politics when the Senate and House are in session.

Bravo: Wonderful food, another pretentious bar.

Julep: Way too feminine for me. Basically, they only have cocktails.

Elixir: Never been, have no reason to go.

Cherokee Inn: Another place I have no reason to go.

Pops Around the Corner: Supposedly the roughest place in Jackson.

Mardi Gras: They almost kicked me out one night when they first opened because I was wearing a pullover. They made the mediocre list because at least they have regular music, but its not my kind of place.

Buffalo Wild Wings: My only reason to go to this place is to watch pro football. The season is over and so is me being there.


Ok, here is my worst list, places I cannot stand:

W.C. Don's, Any place that serves beer in Rankin County, Fire, Ice and the rest of those places right next to each other, The Spot or Headliners or whatever they are calling it now, and Cups. Yes, I don't like Cups. I go to Cups every now and then, but for some reason it rubs me the wrong way.