Money and Death

Yesterday we had our 'scared straight' infomercial about repaying out student loans. I expected to see a mangled older guy wearing prison blues to come in and scream at us about being a bitch in prison because he couldn't make his payments. Fortunately, my imagination is never as good as reality. We all crammed ourselves into a room and a contracted company displayed powerpoint presentation featuring such hits as, "Make a Budget! Don't Forget to Save!" and everyone's favorite, "Consolidation Blues." After a full hour of this tripe, I noticed that a recurring phrase was "death or permanent physical incapacitation will discharge your loans." Its like they were alluding to the fact that the only way you get out of paying is dying or suffering a horrible head injury. As if there is no way to pay your loans in full and the only fate you have to look forward to is being 80 and still paying a couple of grand a month in loan payments or dying and getting out of it.

Redneckin'

I have discovered the greatest country music singer/songwriter of all time. Ok, wait. Strike that. I have discovered two of the greatest country/western singer /songwriters of all time. Hells bells, these boys is where its at! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, may I present Billy Joe Shaver and Unknown Hinson. For whatever reason tonight, seeing as I'm bored as shit and can't drag myself to write anything meaningful on here or to my stories I'm working on, I felt it was my God given duty to investigate kick ass singers who participate in my favorite cartoon, "Squidbillies." Unknown Hinson is a country singer who voices the main character in "Squidbillies" and Billy Joe Shaver performs the theme song to the show. Both equally great in their lyrics and styles, I suggest every one of you sons of bitches get your asses on Myspace and look them the hell up. Jesus, I'm feeling pretty redneck tonight.
Since I'm feeling pretty redneck tonight, I'm going to red-state it up for you bitches out there, so here are a few of my gripes, hates, and favorite things, speaking from my redneck perspective this eveningtime.

Gripes:
Frank Melton: What the fuck is his problem? Get with the program and do you damn job.
Censorship: Censor this, motherfucker.
The Clarion Ledger: Wake the hell up and smell the corruption.
The Jackson Free Press: Quit patting yourself on the back, your not that important.
Jam Bands: Get a damn job or play better music.
Jackasses: Yea, I can't stand you bastards.
Liberals: Not everything is Bush's fault. Just most things.
Conservatives: Not everything can be solved by Hank Williams Jr. Just most things.
NRA: Your membership dues are too fucking expensive.
ACLU: Your not the sole protector of the Constitution. I am.

Hates:
Drugs: Crack and Crystal and all that other shit.
50 year old women pretending to be 24: Eventually even Botox can't fix everything.
No new episodes of "Squidbillies:" Hey Williams Street, get off your asses and crank out some more.
People that talk during that survivalist movie I was watching today at the Crossroads Film Festival: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Snails: Move faster, bitches.
Giant trucks: Your too loud, tone that engine down a notch.

Favorite things:
Billy Joe Shaver and Unknown Hinson: Boys, you need to stop playing just Texas and Georgia, respectively and haul your asses to the Great State.
My car: Badfuckingass.
My new golf club I won: Yea, thats right. I won it.
Myspace: Hi, I'm the Expatriate, and I am an addict.
Fenians and Hal and Mals: Obviously.
School: Psyche.

Ok, I'm tired. I'll post tomorrow, hopefully, something bette

Adventures

Ok, now to get down to business. Currently I am living here in Jackson and attending law school. I really don't have a direction I am wanting to take with my degree, but hopefully something will come up. Last semester I decided not to worry as much about what exactly I will do with my degree, but focus more on trying to be a little happier than I have been for the past few years. One of the secrets of law school is how much it changes who of a person you are. I have changed a great deal and in many way, for the worse. I am now trying to reverse some of the effects by being a little bit more confident in the variety of directions I can take. One of the most drastic pains that law school has inflicted on me is my acid reflux! AHHHHH. I should now be a salesman for Zantac or Tagament. Miracle drugs.

As much as I complain about my school, I do actually like many things about it. I have made some great, life-long friends, learned more than I thought I had and been exposed to some very smart professors. Despite these things, I am desperate to get out and have new adventures. Thats right, I enjoy adventures.